Friday, March 2, 2007

Kabuki Theater

In November 2006, just before the Champions Trophy, Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammed Asif submitted themselves for a voluntary drug test and promptly got busted for using Nandrolone. Akhtar was banned for 2 years while Asif was banned for 1 year. They appealed to the PCB and PCB overturned the ban citing that they had taken Nandrolone unknowingly.

Fast forward to the time when World Cup team selections are being announced. After the fiasco with overturning Akhtar's and Asif's ban, the ICC states that they would "randomly" test players for steroids in the World Cup. This leads to a trip to London for Asif and Akhtar ostensibly to recover from their injuries but allegedly for a private drug test (to see if Nandrolone is still in their system).

Meanwhile, Pakistan includes Akhtar and Asif in the 15 man squad to the World Cup but states that all 15 players would be tested for drugs and failure to pass to the drug test would result in their DEATH...no, we jest...expulsion from the team.

In the meantime, every Haydos, Symo, and Border shoot their mouth off about how cheats are ruining the game. All the other 13 players in the Pakistan squad are tested for drugs and they pass with flying colors. Spontaneous celebrations erupt all over Pakistan but Inzi's heart is heavy with sorrow. Inzi decides that prompt action is required and issues a statement saying that Akhtar and Asif would be fit to play in the World Cup. The very next day, PCB realizing that there is strength in unity promptly undermines Inzi by stating that Akhtar and Asif are out of the World Cup because of their injuries.

PCB also says that the two players did not seek a private drug test and that the real reason for their opting out of the tournament was their injury. Furthermore, PCB asks for ICC technical committee's permission to substitute Akhtar and Asif with Mohammed Sami and Yasir Arafat.

The ICC technical committee asks for Akhtar's and Asif's medical injury reports to determine if Sami and Arafat could be substituted. That's the situation for now.

Who are we kidding here? The technical committee will allow Pakistan to include Sami and Arafat. Otherwise, Pakistan will be in the Windies with a squad of 13. That's not going to happen. After a little of chest beating, all concerned parties will back down and it will be business as usual.

2 comments:

Trapper John said...

You know, we can shake our heads at the transparent hypocrisy and ridiculousness of the PCB and, to a lesser extent, the ICC, in l'affaire Nandrolone - but I can't stop marveling at the sheer stupidity of Shoaib and Asif. Nandrolone is apparently the one steroid that loiters in the body for months. All the other major drugs can be flushed out relatively quickly -- why, if they felt they needed to juice, did they choose the single product that would render them dirty for the World Cup?

Idiots.

Mephistopheles said...

I don't know about Asif but Shoaib has never been known for his mental acumen.

I don't think these guys are savvy. Idiots, indeed.