Quasi News Round-up

This article is titled innocuously enough: The most dramatic first week
You might be even tempted to click on the link. Before you click on the link here's the first sentence of that feature:

"Men curse foreplay, especially when it is expected to be long."

As one would expect, we did not read further. That, my dear readers, is what the Times of India has become. There was a time when Times of India was known for its quality. Now, it is nothing but a tabloid. We hold real journalists in very high regard. They do a very thankless job that is very much needed. Their job, be it a lowly sportswriter covering the local cricket match or a superstar journalist covering world wars, is to uncover the truth and report what they find out to the people. It bears repeating, they do a very thankless job that needs doing.

Having gotten that off our chest, we want to say that Manu Joseph (the writer of the above feature) is a disgrace to his honored profession. He should find another job, preferably as an unemployed male gigolo.

Update 1: Please click here to read a much better rant on Times Of India. Hat-tip: Sanjay.


For all the people who are wondering about how the net run rates are calculated: Here

From Prem Panicker's blog:

I've just been sitting here, watching Mandira Bedi talk her way through the following 'moments':

HP Power Master Blaster of the day
Videocon Classic Catch of the Day
LG Time Machine Appeal of the Day (No, seriously -- today, it was Zaheer appealing his lungs out against someone or other; the appeal was not given)
Solid Sixes brought to you by Peter England.
Sunfeast Sachin FitKit Biscuits All Rounder of the Day
King of Good Times of the Day brought to you by KingFisher Bottled Water
LG Time Machine Celebration of the Day
TVS Solid Performer of the Day
Maruti Suzuki Alto Turning Point of the Day
Fall of Wickets brought to you by Hyundai Verna
Fantastic Fours brought to you by Monster.com
And a few more moments of the day that I lost count of

Bob Woolmer's autopsy proved inconclusive. Further tests would be needed for pinpointing the cause of death. However, everybody's favorite moron, Sarfraz Nawaz, knows what happened. Amid a lot of nonsense he spouted, this stood out:

"I surely feel that he has been bumped off. It was the betting mafia which eliminated Hansie Cronje. It was the same betting mafia which killed "Cadbury" the well-known bookie from Pakistan who later settled in South Africa. "Cadbury" body was cut into pieces. Now that has been the fate of Woolmer."

Can somebody please shut this lunatic up? Every once in a while he comes out of the cupboard to spew insane shit and then leaves without cleaning up after himself. Just for once, how about making him accountable?

Shaun Tait is "warning" opponents that he is not at top speed yet. The implication being that opponents are worried about him bowling at "not so top speed" and when he finally reaches his "top speed" they better watch out. Yawn.

News Round-Up

Trawling the murky waters of a vast ocean (okay, we were surfing the internet) after yesterday's double feature upsets, we came across several stories (and back stories) by the simply clicking on a lot of random links. Among a lot of junk we found several interesting nuggets:

A delightful rant by Mukul Kesavan about the so called "processes" which are currently in fashion. This article might be a little dated but it is a soothing balm for that unreachable itch especially after India's loss yesterday.

Interesting (hat tip to My Two Cents and Prem Panicker):

"...Yet, every now and again his thoughts get the better of him, and he lets something slip. Like this line that slipped out, and has gone unnoticed, when in course of my interview with him for Rediff I asked him what he thought of the Indian team for the Cup. 'India has the team it wanted. It has all the brands..."

If by brands, he means Pepsi, Adidas, etc...then Hmmm...

Again, old news but very interesting. We love 'fly on the wall' stuff.

Osman Samiuddin's patience cracks and he lets loose a rant about the Pakistani cricket team. Fantastic stuff. And then it is Kamran Abbasi's turn.

Dhoni's house was stoned after India's defeat to Bangladesh. Is this ridiculous or what? What the hell is wrong with people? How is stoning someone's house going to help? You know what, we want India to be knocked out of the tournament. That will serve the lunatics right. Fucking morons. Bastards. It's just a game.

Finally, Pakistan's coach Bob Woolmer passed away in Jamaica after Pakistan's exit from the world cup. Details are sketchy. This is very sad. Tributes from people who knew him well. What a terrible day for Bob Woolmer's family and Pakistan.

When will people realize that however popular and however much money there is in cricket, it is at the end of the day, just a game. The best game on earth, but still a game. In all the hysteria that usually follows when a team from the sub-continent loses, the fact that cricket is just a game should not be forgotten. Bob Woolmer, RIP.

India Beats Holland

Quite comfortably, we might add. However, Prem Panicker's headline says that Doeschate's fiver restricts India to 300.
No, Prem. When a team allows another team to score 300, it is not "restricting" anything.

None of the questions India wanted answers for were answered. Namely:
1. Is Virender Sehwag in good nick? No.
2. Did Robin Uthappa make the most of the opportunity given to him? No.
3. Did Irfan Pathan find his bowling rhythm? Not even close.

Well, India have another match to sort out their problems. Sehwag and Uthappa might but it is very unlikely that Pathan is going to find his bowling rhythm in one match.