Is Matthew Hayden a Moron?

It pains us to say "YES". Actually, it doesn't really pain us. That was more of a literary flourish than anything else. We hate that bastard for saying things like this:

"In the heat of the battle New Zealand and Australia is one of the finest competitions you can play. They're in our country and we're very excited about the way we're playing and we're working exceptionally hard to what is ahead of us."

He said this in response to Lou Vincent's comments about how the Aussies are arrogant pricks. If you read the quote, the first sentence of his statement makes no sense.

Another gem (this is a oldie but a goldie, from the 2005 ashes):

"It was really satisfying to perform against them out here," he said, "so the challenge is to perform against them on their turf as well. I'm not making it emotional, I just want to be ruthless. I'm not going to go in with blinkers on, but certainly with a lot of the emotion out of it, that puts me in a good frame of mind."

This guy is a nutcase. Haydos (his nickname) is a MORON. There, we feel better now.

India Vs West Indies, 4th ODI

That was quite a batting display by the Indian batsmen. I wonder how the same batting line-up would have performed on a bouncy track? The first signs we had that this was going to be a run feast was when Saurav Ganguly started pulling short balls to the boundary. That is not a good sign. Saurav is known for many things but pull shots are not his specialty. Like we mentioned earlier, Tendulkar has been looking good for a while now and he continued his good batting form.

Arun Lal asking Sachin about his batting form was funny. Here's this mediocre cricketer and an even worse commentator asking one of the all time greats of the game if he was glad that he made a century. If these sorts of questions from "cricket experts" don't bother Sachin, he is a better man than us. All the Indian Newspapers are fawning over Sachin again. Moving on...

The match itself was pretty boring so we won't write about it. India put up a huge total, Gayle failed again, Agarkar (is beginning to make a believer out of us) and Zaheer bowled well. Lara was run out. Match Over.

...And then there were 15

Here's our 15 man squad to the World Cup:

Automatic Picks
1. Rahul Dravid
Captain.
2. MS Dhoni
First choice wicket keeper and a match winner with the bat. The other wicket keeper choice - Karthik- is not quite at Dhoni's level yet.
3. Zaheer Khan
He was dropped for form and attitude, spent some time in the wilderness, got back into shape, started bowling like his life depended on it and is back into the team with a bang. There is a lesson there somewhere and it is apparent (from the recent axing of Sehwag and Pathan) that the Selectors have learned it well. Now, the worry is that they might become "drop happy" and drop players without giving them a fair shake.
4. Harbhajan Singh
Yes, we would pick Harbhajan before we pick Kumble. Harbhajan has been very good in ODI's.
5. Sachin Tendulkar
We were quite surprised when we saw that Tendulkar has more runs (480) than Ricky Ponting (460) for the 2006/07 season and his average (36.92) is only slightly lower than Ponting's (38.33). Sachin has always done well in the World Cup. For cricket's sake, lets hope this continues.

That leaves us with 10 other spots.

Not so Automatic Picks
6. Saurav Ganguly
He has been batting well and more importantly has shown that he is willing to sacrifice his body to safeguard his wicket in South Africa. We never questioned his talent, only his hunger for runs. We are satisfied that he is a man on a mission to prove his detractors wrong. That is enough for us.
7. Sreesanth
Sreesanth sucks in ODI's but he is a match winner and though it pains us to pick him and not Anil Kumble, we will give up the odd boundary for couple of quick wickets. So, Sreesanth is in and Kumble is out (more about that later). Hearing what Dravid had to say before the 4th ODI, it doesn't seem like Sreesanth is going to make it. But, he should.
8. Yuvraj Singh
Coming off of injury we don't know how his batting form is. The next few matches will give him opportunities to bat himself into form. Also, his fielding is needed inside the circle.
9. Irfan Pathan
How the mighty have fallen. In early 2006, Pathan could do no wrong. Now, he is out of the team. His batting is still solid but India does not need more batsmen, what India needs is the old bowler back. The next few matches will determine the state of Pathan's bowling form.
10. Suresh Raina
We like him because he is a talented middle order batsman and an excellent fielder. Yes, he hasn't done well with the opportunities he's been given and the coming ODI's with Sri Lanka will seal his fate. We think he will squeak through.
11. Robin Uthappa
Explosive batsman and a good fielder. Is in great form and deserves a chance.
12. Munaf Patel
He hurt his chances in South Africa by showing up not fully fit. Has 4 more ODI's to prove his fitness. If he can bowl at his usual pace in the matches he's given a chance, he will be in the team.
13. Dinesh Karthik
Will pip Gautam Gambhir and make it to the team. Will keep wickets if Dhoni gets injured or will play as a specialist middle order batsman. Also, an excellent fielder.
14. Ajit Agarkar
We still don't like him. But we are beginning to respect him. Can he maintain his bowling form for the next 15 games? That's all we want. Anyway, he gets into the team at Kumble's expense. Indians have enough part time spinners (Sachin, Yuvraj, and Sehwag). Kumble has done yeoman service for the Indian team and he would be our first choice spinner in a test match but with Harbhajan taking the lead spinner role and all of our part time spinners, it's doubtful if we will ever play two spinners in a game.
15. Virender Sehwag
All Sehwag has to do is get a few runs in the next 4 ODI's and he will be in the team. Selectors are looking for an excuse to include him in the team and the only way he won't make it is if he is a total flop.

Can a team have 11 openers?

We exaggerate, but looking at the Indian team "experiment" it feels like they are having an audition for the opening spot. In the first and the second ODI's, Ganguly and Gambhir opened, Gambhir and Robin Uthappa opened in the third ODI. For the sake of symmetry, Saurav and Uthappa should open in the 4th ODI. Anyway, all three had success opening. Tendulkar has opened the batting with Ganguly for a long time and they were highly successful. In the last year or so, Dravid, Dhoni and Irfan Pathan opened the batting.

By the way, let's not kid ourself, Virender Sehwag will be included in the team going to the West Indies for the World Cup if he plays one good knock in the 4 ODI's against Sri Lanka starting in February. Virender Sehwag was dropped as much to lose weight and get his head straight then due to bad form. Mark our words: He is coming back for the World Cup. The Selectors will not have the gumption to drop him from the team for the World Cup. To be honest, we are quite fond of Sehwag and would love to see him back in the team and firing on all cylinders.

Since Sehwag will be in the team going to the World Cup, either Gambhir or Uthappa will be left behind. The Fourth ODI between India and West Indies may very well decide their fates. We prefer Robin Uthappa. With Ganguly back, we feel that there is no need for Gautam "poor man's Ganguly" Gambhir. Gambhir may very well turn to be a world class player (we doubt it) but his time is not now. We could be wrong and Dinesh Kaarthik might be dropped and Gambhir could take his spot.

So, where does that leave us?
We have Tendulkar, Sehwag, Ganguly, Robin Uthappa, and Gautam Gambhir (If Kaarthik is dropped) vying for the opening slot, which is just ridiculous. Maybe Tendulkar will be asked to bat at number 5/6 to beef up the middle order.

Where are we going with this?
If the middle order has been a problem for the Indian team, why are they looking at openers? We agree that even though Gambhir and Uthappa are openers they wouldn't hesitate to bat down the order if given a chance to play for India. They might even make for decent middle order batsmen.

Instead of making openers fill the middle order, why not look at middle order batsmen? Who, you ask?

Suresh Raina: He should be given a few chances, we know that he has not been doing well but we feel that he should be persisted with because he is extremely talented and is a superb fielder.

VVS Laxman: We know that he doesn't like to bat in the middle order. But, in Laxman's case a few exceptions can be made. Sehwag and Ganguly would open and Laxman would be sent one down, followed by Dravid, Tendulkar, and Yuvraj. There, the Indian middle order is fixed. The draw back being...really we don't see any drawbacks here.

We also like Dinesh Kaarthik, not only can he bat but he would also be the second wicket keeper if Dhoni gets injured. Even otherwise, he is a great in-close fielder and India needs all the fielding help they can get.

We thought of Kaif too, but decided against him since he likes to bat up the order and there is no spot for him there. His chance will come.

So there you go...

India Vs. West Indies, 3rd ODI, Chennai

We don't know what to make of this game. One could say that the Indian experiment failed or one could also say that the West Indian team showed gumption. Maybe the truth was somewhere in between.

The Indian team experiment did not make any sense. They rested Saurav Ganguly who has been out of the team for over a year. One would have thought that he needed more match practise. Rahul Dravid played this match, which made no sense since he has been playing a lot of cricket these days and was in reasonably good form in the last two ODI's.

If the Indian team were serious about their experiment, their ODI team would look like this:
1. Robin Uthappa (what a show he put on!) because he deserved a shot
2. Saurav Ganguly (He just got back into the team for crying out loud! He needs more game time)
3. Gautam Gambhir
4. Sachin Tendulkar (He needs to find his form and we think he did just that this game. His batting looked pretty good)
5 Yuvraj Singh
6. Dinesh Karthik
7. Suresh Raina
8 Anil Kumble
9. Sreesanth
10.Munaf Patel (We are aware that he was not in the squad, but he should have been)
11. Ramesh Powar (despite his atrocious fashion sense, we like him)

Yes, we would not have played Ajit Agarkar. We don't like him. His good game came in the 2nd ODI and it will be another 20 or 30 games before he has another good game. We need to be rid of this "All-rounder".

Now, the above team would have qualified for the moniker "Experiment". What India did instead made no sense.

We feel that the West Indies came to India with a plan in mind. For some reason, they have decided that they need to get better at chasing scores and that's just what they have been doing.
Looking at the line-up above, we notice that most of them are batsmen. That depresses us. The problem with playing on dead pitches where tons of runs are scored is that every kid watching these matches wants to be a batsman. No one wants to be the idiot being carted all around the field.

More matches should be played on pitches which offer bowlers help. In fact, we feel so strongly about this that we will repeat the sentence: More matches should be played on pitches which offer bowlers help.

Something to chew on:

Why does a batting line-up which boasts of Sachin, Dravid, Ganguly, and Sehwag need 7 batsmen in their line-up?

India Vs. West Indies, 2nd ODI, Cuttack

We like a run feast. We enjoy a run feast. But, low scoring games makes us feel warm and fuzzy.

The first ODI, while entertaining was not quite satisfying. Saurav looked good. But, the WI did not test him enough. We still have our doubts about his comeback. Dravid was fantastic. We felt that the bowlers were shortchanged. And we don't like that.

The second ODI was our kind of game. Batting was hard. You could not hit through the line, technique actually mattered. All the wickets that fell were due to poor shots and lack of patience. Gambhir, Saurav, Dhoni to name a few. Dinesh Kaarthick played well. This should cement his spot for the World Cup.

We like chubby players as much as the next man - David Boon and Shane Warne being our favorite chubby players. We detest that bastard Merv Hughes. But Ramesh Powar is pushing the boundary of being chubby. Ordinarily, that wouldn't matter. As long as he plays well, we don't care if he is weight lifting beer bottles. But couple his physique with an atrocious fashion sense and very soon he is an eye sore.

Powar - We know you are reading this. Listen to us. We implore you. Get rid of the ear stud. There are people who can carry it off. You are not one of them. Remember, when it comes to fashion accessories, less is good. Also, get rid of those shades. Red is not the new black. Other than that, we don't want to change a thing about you. Your bowling was very good and though you might not make it to the World Cup squad, you will keep Harbhajan honest. Bide your time, get rid of those shades and the ear stud. Listen to us. We know things.

Australia Vs England, CB Series Match 7, 2007

Did anyone see the match? We think only we understand the significance of what England is doing. They are setting up Australia and the rest of the world. After this, no one in their right mind would associate England and winning. Come World Cup time, England will start bludgeoning the opposition into submission and the whole world is shocked at the English duplicity. This cunning is what made the British Empire. This has to be the plan. There can be no other explanation.

No Team can be this bad.

Can they?

Do We Need Another Stupid Cricket Blog?

To be honest, we don't.
But you are getting one anyway because we believe that the world needs to hear what we have to say about Cricket. For one, we say that Cricket, like Golf, is not a gentleman's game anymore. Now then, let's get started.
Couple of things before festivities begin:
1. We will try to keep the blog updated till the 2007 World Cup.
2. Australia are the clear favorites to win the cup and we will actively root against them.